Friday, February 13, 2009

No Beta #3

First I want to thank all of you for the congrats! I feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful following in the blogosphere and am lucky to have people standing by my side who "get it". Hugs and love to all of you this Valentine's weekend!

My RE was happy with the 2nd beta rise and did not feel the need to have a 3rd beta. I had a VERY hard time not begging for one! I really wanted to push to have a 3rd level to obsess over, but decided that I should probably just let go and try to relax a little (ya right!) I had to ask myself what is the point of another beta? Sure it could give me more added comfort in knowing the pregnancy is progressing, but if it's not a "perfect" rise it could cause me tons of potentially unnecessary anxiety and lord knows I already have enough of that! So, I controlled my urge to demand beta #3 and will wait for the viability ultrasound on Monday, February 23. It seems like forever away and can't get here soon enough!

I am staying optimistic, which is much easier with K being so positive, and I'm trying to constantly remind myself that my baby(ies) is in K--a new and very much improved environment! Sure there is a risk of m/c just like there is with every pregnancy, but the likelihood with K is much less than it was with me. K's symptoms are ever-present: very tender and swollen breasts, constant hunger, and tired. K didn't have much nausea or m/s with her boys, so it doesn't bother me that she's not having any of that (and actually I hope she doesn't!). I didn't have much of that either with Myles. K hasn't had a single drop of anything other than Endometrin leave her girly parts, so that's encouraging too!

It's weird because I don't have an overall feeling of gloom, which I had with my last two IVF cycles. I feel good. I feel hopeful. I'm even allowing myself to dream ... I'm dreaming about K having our baby in the fall. I'm dreaming about what my summer in 2010 might be like with a little one (or two) to play with. This is huge for me! I never allow myself to dream of the possibility of a baby, so I'm taking this is a good sign!

18 comments:

N said...

I am absolutely thrilled for you!!! Allow yourself to be excited and know that your baby is safe and snuggly! huge hugs to you!

Jen said...

Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

I'm so hopeful for you and J!

TABI said...

So fabulous! I think you are right to not add more anxiety with another beta.If things look good, than things look good. Allow yourself to dream - that's such a beautiful place to finally be! Our transfer is tomorrow!!

Donna said...

Niki - I have been out of the loop for a while now - but I wanted to tell you how HAPPY I am that everything is working out for you. I love the pictures you are posting of Myles too. And don't worry - he will never be forgotten.

Sara said...

I'm so happy to hear some excitement in your 'voice' and I can tell how elated you are! I'm so thrilled and can't wait to find out if there is 1 or 2 little beans in K! Lots of love and sticky dust headed to you, Josh and K!

I'm expecting some play dates with you next summer, okay? :)

sara said...

I'm so happy to see this! I have been a lurker for awhile and I just have to say I truly admire your strength. Although my journey is nothing compared what you have faced so bravely...it's nice to see other surrogacy stories. After much talking with our doctors we've decided likely to have my best friend carry our child when and if we decide to have another due to a congenital defect in my uterus. It's inspiring for me to follow along your journey and I'll be here rooting along for your family each step of the way. Congrats on the journey so far!

momsoon said...

Yeah!!!! so happy to read your post and mostly to hear excitement in your voice- i know that everything we go through can really steal from the joy when good things come our way...
I will continue to think of you guys and take inspiration from your story...thanks

Allison said...

dream away :) happy to hear it.

m said...

great news! great attitude!

Lost in Space said...

I am so happy for you, hun, and love that you are allowing yourself to dream a little..... Now the question is "how many are in there?" (-;

Erica said...

I admire your strength so much. Your posts have given me new hope. Thank you for sharing your story.

Intending To Be Parents said...

You have every reason to be optimistic! Sending good growing thoughts and can't wait to hear the good news on the 23rd!

Duck said...

We're just getting to the transfer and I'm with you, no gloom just excitement and hope!THIS is so great, it's so amazing that we can finally feel like we're making real steps forward. Tabi's transfer is tomorrow, then me on Monday :). We'lll be joinning you soon in the pee party

JN'sMom said...

I'm just delurking to say I wish you the very best on your surrogacy journey and that your latest journals about your son's life have been so moving. I won't ever forget Myles' story either. Your time with him was all too short.

Wewurtskihit said...

Be excited and be positiv! You deserve both. I am sure everything will be just perfect. Especially if the doctors feel there is no need for a 3rd beta!! That is always good news!!!

Mark

Tara said...

Congratulations!!! I am so happy for you!!!!

Amy Theis L.Ac. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amy Theis L.Ac. said...

Congrats to you! I 'm so happy things are going well. I'm thinking of you all and am looking forward to the ultrasound news.
Amy Theis L.Ac.