Thursday, December 11, 2008

From the words of another babyloss mamma

This morning I read Mrs. Spit's eloquent post and was reminded of a very important point that I often forget during my dark moments of overwhelming grief and sadness. As I think of Myles's birthday that is fast approaching and the date that marks a year from his death I need to remind myself of the words spoken by Mrs. Spit as she remembers her son Gabriel:

"There came a point, a few weeks ago, when I realized that if a one year anniversary meant anything, it meant that this was forever. It meant that the days I was surviving to face would pass, however I chose to mark them. I was looking at the rest of my life, knowing that I would always miss Gabriel [insert lost child's name]. If there is a choice to be had, it is how I will live, how I will remember and honour and find meaning." --Mrs. Spit

I think all babyloss mammas need to be reminded of this very thing. Thank you Mrs. Spit for reminding me that Myles will always be missed and that I must continue to draw inspiration from my amazing little boy. I must live my life by Myles's example. I must continue to honor Myles in any way I can and must try to find some meaning, however small, in this tragedy.

4 comments:

Lisa said...

Thanks for sharing that Niki. ((HUGS))

Jaymee said...

HUGS

N said...

With baby K in the NICU still, I have actually thought of you several times and what it must have been like to visit Myles, support him, hope for him, pray for him, comfort him, and ultimately not have the opportunity to take him home. I can still see parts of your tribute video in my head when you knew you would lose him, and I just can't imagine your grief. I've been wanting to tell you how amazed I am at your strength to get through this loss, because my experiences this week have put that in more perspective. There just are no words, but you are an incredible person to get through it all, and I can't wait for Myles to have a sibling (or 2!) through surrogacy. Hugs to you.

m said...

I so, so agree. I just read Mrs. Spit's post and reading it again here drives it home. Thank you for sharing your story and for giving me such support as I share mine.

Thank you.