Saturday, March 21, 2009

Insult to Injury

I am back from Mexico and just as I expected reality has hit me hard. I've spent the whole morning crying about the recent loss, the horrors that K and her family had to endure, and our future. I'm upset with the universe and the inequality that exists. To top off my horrible morning I came home to discover that someone had stolen a glass snowman solar light off Myles's grave. It was a "gift" from my parents and has been hanging on a shephard's hook on Myles's grave since late November. I am just so upset and hurt by this. As if it's not bad enough that my son died people have to steal his things from his grave. What kind of person does that sort of thing? I know it's just something material, so it shouldn't bother me so much yet it does. I think it's because I don't have Myles here with me to physically protect, so I'm protective over his grave and all of the things I put on his grave. So today I'm not only mad at the universe, but mad at those who inhabit this universe as well.

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I will give you the whole scoop later when I'm feeling more like posting, but to give you a quick update on K ... she had a D&C this past week due to the loss of too much blood, the development of an infection, and failure to expel the embryo. K kept this from me while I was in Mexico because she didn't want me to worry. She is so thoughtful and kind. K continues to amaze me.

16 comments:

Sticks and Stims said...

WTF???? You poor thing - I cannot imagine what kind of person would take something from Myles' grave - I wonder if it was a kid? Because I just cannot wrap my head around anyone doing that because it is just sick and twisted and wrong. I am so sorry you had to come home to that.

Poor K, WTF??? I am so sorry for her, for you, for J - I hope she is okay and is resting comfortably now. I am so sorry that she had to go through that. I know you know this intellectually but I will say it anyway - it is not your fault. I just cannot believe everything that you have had to go through. IF/IVF seem like horrible things to me today - it feels like a horrible dream and really like some sort of horrible trauma today for me personally and to then read this - I really, really hate the universe right now.

I would love to email with you - my email is lapmp1648@gmail.com.

I am so sorry you had such a horrible reception home but I am glad you are back safely.

((HUGS))

Heather said...

I'm so sorry Niki. I can't believe someone would steal from a baby's grave- that has got to be the lowest.

Thinking of you and K, and Myles of course.

Dalene said...

Oh, that would make me flaming mad if someone stole something from my son's grave. What is wrong with people?

Kris said...

I am in tears reading your post. I just wish that for once the universe would be kind to you and those around you.

K is so amazing! What a great cousin and surrogate she is. When we were in WI Dells last weekend I kept seeing this woman who looked so much like the pic of K you have on your blog. Everywhere we went, she was there. I was thinking of you all so much.

I hope that despite your crappy homecoming you were able to have fun in Mexico and that that tequila and cervezas helped to dull the pain, if only for a moment.

Duck said...

What twisted human being steels from a grave? Totally sick.

Agh god poor K, that sucks that she had to have a d&c, so sorry that she had to go through with that.

Am on the other side of the computer if you ever need an ear.

Erica said...

I am disgusted that someone would steal something from a headstone. WTF is wrong with people?!?!? Is there no 'right' in this world? I'm so sick of good people being shit on by the universe and selfish people being showered with blessings. It makes me utterly sick!

I'm so very sorry you've had so much to endure. And I'm so sorry for K. I hope this hellish ride you're on is over soon.

Rebecca said...

OMG, are you serious? That's just lower than low to steal a decoration from a baby's grave. I would call the cemetery and see if they've had reports of other items being stolen...not that it would make it better, but if there were others that had items stolen, maybe there is something they could do about it?

And many healing thoughts and prayers going out to K...what a trooper. I am just in awe of her.

I'm so sorry you are all having to deal with this. If there's anything I can do, please let me know! Love you!

Dora said...

I'm just furious that someone would steal something from Myles' grave. That's just evil.

What awful news about K. All my love to you and J and K. I know you will all get each other through this terrible time.

Kay said...

Niki, I am glad Mexico was fun, but very sad to what you came home to. Is K'd recovery from the D&C going well? I so wish I lived closer to you so I could give the universe and the mean people who take thing they shouldn't, a swift kick in the arse!!

Jacinta said...

Guys, I can't believe what a rough time you've had. I'm really sorry and I hope things turn around for you soon. K, you are a very brave and resilient woman.

A Mom in Jacksonville, FL said...

Your post made me cry...

I am infuriated that someone would steal something from a gravesite. It is just SO morally wrong!

Poor K. And what a strong and wonderful woman trying to protect your feelings when she must have been hurting herself.

Continuing to think of all of you.

Kelly said...

You all continue to be in my prayers. You have been through hell and someday this horrible mess will come to an end. Prayers too for K to continue to heal.

Bluebird said...

I just sat, shaking my head and crying as I read this post. I just exclaimed to DH, "How much more are they going to have to handle?!?!!!" I'm sure you've asked that question many times yourself. . . I wish I had the answer for your. And I'm so, so sorry that this is your - And K's - reality. ((Hugs)) to you both, and your families.

Lost in Space said...

Niki, I can't even begin to imagine what kind of lowlife would do such a thing. Disturbing on so many levels. I am so sorry.

Continuing to keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. What a kind and compassionate soul K is. Truly an amazing woman - just like her cousin.

Much love to you....

roseann said...

I am so sorry, it is incredibly sick that a human being could steal something from a grave site. It is hard to know that there is such hate, anger and sickness in our world. Hugs to you, I really wish I could hug you!
www.barrenwomb.com

Sheri-ct said...

What kind of person would do such a horrible thing? I am so sorry.

Poor K!!!! I am so sorry she had such a scary time. I hope she is feeling better. My thoughts are with all of you.

Sheri