Sunday, July 6, 2008

Myles' Story

Myles Lee was our long awaited IVF miracle. This is his story ...

Myles was conceived after 2.5 years of infertility in August '07 when we transferred 2 blastocysts (6 snowbabies still on ice) and got a bfp with singleton. My EDD was 5/1/08. I was having an easy pregnancy--no m/s, etc... At 23 wks I noticed mild elevation in bp (130/70) and traces of protein w/dip. 24hr urine showed 900mg/L, which led to me being diagnosed with preeclampsia. I was put on home bedrest for a week before being hospitalized due increasing bp (140-150/80) and discovery of intrauterine growth restriction, IUGR (baby was measuring at 20wks--he hadn't grown at all). With the discovery of IUGR I was dx with severe preeclampsia, was started on magnesium sulfate and was given steroid injections to mature the baby's lungs. I was sent via ambulance to a large regional hospital with Level III NICU and continued with bedrest and 24-hr fetal monitoring.

At 25wks 4days my platelets had dropped significantly and liver enzymes had skyrocketed (HELLP syndrome), which meant that my life was in danger, so the perinatologists informed me I had to deliver. I fought with them and refused to consent to delivery (literally I was screaming, crying, and threatening to leave the hospital), but they said they were going to override my wishes or I would die. At 10:45am on 1/21/08 I delivered my son, Myles Lee, via emergency classical c-section. He weighed only 13.2 oz and was only 9.25 in in length. Much to the surprise of the neonatologists Myles was alive. The docs told us that they weren't optimistic about his survival given his size--they expected him to die of a brain hemmorage or another micro-preemie complication. Much to their surprise Myles did not succumb to any of these complications, tolerated breast milk feedings, and began to grow (at 3wks he weighed 1lb 4oz).

Myles was a beautiful baby who looked just like his daddy! Myles was a tiny baby, but had an amazingly strong, fighting spirit! I spent every day in the NICU getting to know my handsome little man ... I read him books, sang him lullabies, held his hands, changed his diapers, stared at his beautiful face, and snuggled him with my hands. When Myles was 2.5wks old I got to hold him next to my skin (kangaroo care) for the very first time. At that moment I realized that everything we'd been through was all worth it!! A few days later his daddy got to hold him too!

On 2/15/06 (dh's 31st b-day) Myles was doing so well that the neonatologists talked about being able to take him off the vent soon. We were thrilled. Myles was wide awake and alert, looking better than ever that morning, but by 4:30pm things had done a 360. Myles wasn't maintaining his oxygen and was up to 100%. His bp were low and he was given meds. His blood ph was rapidly dropping and he was being given massive doses of sodium bicarbonate. Despite the doctor's recommendation not to lose hope I had a gut feeling that things would not turn out well. Myles looked very sick and when I looked into his big eyes I noticed the glisten was gone. At midnight they told us that Myles would not make it. We held him in our arms for a few hours before we finally said goodbye to our beautiful little man. He fought hard until the very end, but his tiny body couldn't take it. Myles died from extreme lung prematurity, pneumonia, and sepsis.

We left the hospital with empty arms and broken hearts. Myles was the baby we'd dreamed of for so many years and he was gone. We felt lost and didn't know where to go or what to do. We are working through our grief, but miss Myles more and more every day!

Myles' Video Montage:

View this montage created at One True Media
Myles Lee Anderson

5 comments:

Jen said...

Niki,
Everytime I read your story, I am brought to tears. I hope you find that blogging is a great way to remember Myles, I know it has really helped me. Big Hugs!

Mrs. Spit said...

I'm so sorry Niki, but so glad that you could hold Myles and tell him he was loved.

All beautiful things live in memory.

Heather said...

Niki,
I'm so sorry for your loss of Myles. Preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome are horrible things. My story is very close to yours. I hope you keep blogging- I've found it helpful for me.

Searching said...

I'm so sorry. Your son is beautiful and looks like he fought so hard. You have my prayers.

B said...

Niki

Your son is beautiful and has a beautiful name. I bet it felt amazing to hold him in your little hands and give him a kanga cuddle.

I held my daughter for the first time as she was dying. She was 5 days old. She was beautiful too.

Praying that one of your little embies sticks. The longing for wanting to hold another child is almost unbearable.

much love

Barbara