Disabling Anonymous Commenting

I just turned off the anonymous comment option because I do not need my feelings hurt by rude, unhappy people. As I sit here in tears I realize that these people are stealing my positive energy and I refuse to let them continue to do this. I apologize to those of you who want to comment anonymously in a positive way. I wish things were different.

This is the recent Anonymous comment that I received on my post entitled Pregnancy Announcment:

"I find it insulting that you imply that your surrogate is "just carrying your babies." She is nourishing them, her blood is flowing to them and is helping create the people they will be. It's not simply a "rent-a-womb" thing. You should be more compassionate about it. Just cause you used your eggs doesn't mean she doesn't contribute to your children's makeup. In fact, I would argue that she is contributing MORE than you since you "just provided the DNA" and she provide the rest of the elements to sustain these lives. Don't kind yourself that just cause these children have your DNA that your surrogate isn't contributing anything else but a rental space for 10 months. It's an insult to your surrogate and to women who use donor egg to conceive. Shame on you."-- Kathy W.

I do not understand where this comment is coming from and the only thing I can figure is that this person ("Kathy W") has issues of her own. My first reaction was to say some horrible expletives, but after a lot of deep breathing I opted to handle it in a more constructive, educational manner.

To tell me that K is contributing more to my babies than I am was only meant to hurt my feelings. I am fully aware that although J and I made these babies that K gave them life. I know that K is nourishing and lovingly growing them. K is doing all of those things for us because I can not do it myself and for that we are forever grateful. I would give anything to be doing for my babies what K is doing for them, but I can't and that makes me sad. I struggle with this often and for someone to shove it in my face is just plain mean and hurtful, which was clearly "Kathy M's" intention with her comment.

I do NOT think that K is simply a "rental space" nor would I ever intend to insult surrogates or women who use donor eggs to conceive. This is MY blog and I was writing about MY experience. My experience: my eggs + J's sperm = our biological embryos placed into K's uterus. I was explaining to my co-worker family about the process of gestational surrogacy and was trying to differentiate between traditional surrogacy (where the surrogate's eggs are used). Unfortunately (well actually fortunately for them) my co-workers don't live in my world of infertility, so they don't necessarily understand the specific details, which is why I was trying to explain it in very basic terms, and incidentally said K "is not biologically related, she is just carrying the babies." I didn't mean this to say that she is just carrying them (like it isn't important), but rather was explaining that they are genetically related to us and not K.

I did NOT nor would I ever insult women who become mothers via donor egg, adoption, or any other means. I do NOT think that biology makes a parent. My mother is adopted and her mother is not the woman who's genetically related to her and gave birth to her, but my grandmother was her mother. I have friends who have a child via donor embryo and although they are not genetically related to their son they are most certainly his parents. In my opinion being a parent isn't about biology/genetics or birthing it's about so much more than that. It's about love--the kind of love that only a parent understands.

I do NOT think that surrogates are simply "rented wombs". I think surrogates are amazing angels on Earth who make people's dreams come true! I am continually in awe of surrogates and will spend the rest of my life being eternally grateful for the one beautiful woman who's bringing our miracles into this world! K you know we love you!