Sunday, August 30, 2009

My Sweet Little Girl

The above photo is of Asha napping in one of her favorite spots next to the sunny window in our office. I appreciate that many of you remembered my sweet little Asha and have asked how she's doing. That really means a lot to me! Had I answered this question a couple of days ago I would've said that Asha is doing amazingly well ... you'd never know that she has a fatal progressive disease, chronic renal failure (CRF). However, today I noticed that her breath has the classic strong ammonia smell of CRF, which indicates that her creatinine levels are back up again. She also didn't eat very well today--she didn't even touch her fresh from the store rotisserie chicken and only licked the juice from the fresh can of tuna. Of course I'm sick over this and worry that she's crashing again. I'm not sure if she's strong enough to keep overcoming the crashes and I'm really struggling to think that this time might be the end for my sweet cuddlebug.

Right now Asha's sitting on my lap and I don't want to think about what my nights would be like without her to cuddle with. It makes me sad to think that she may not be with us much longer. I know I've been here before wondering the same thing, but I also know that one of these times I'm not going to be so lucky. Asha was diagnosed with CRF in April '08 and wasn't given a promising prognosis by her former vet, but with the help of a wonderful, new vet, Dr. M, we've been able to enjoy Asha for the last 16 months and she's been able to enjoy life with us. I should be grateful for this and I shouldn't get greedy and want more, but I do. I want Asha to be with me for many more years, but the reality is that she probably won't. You'd think given the nature of her progressive fatal disease I'd be preparing myself for the day when Asha passes in my arms, yet I just can't bring myself to think about that day. I'm crying just writing it here. I don't want to lose my sweet furbaby who's helped me through the worst time in my life. I will continue to love her and give her the best life possible and when she finally leaves this world I will grieve the loss of another member of our family.

11 comments:

SMK said...

O Niki... I too have a cat that loves to cuddle. Just the thought of losing him makes me cry. Asha is so cute. THey have this insane way of ignoring you and yet showing you their love don't they? Mine will lay on the couch in a pissy mood... but at the same time he has to push his bum or leg up against me. They are like a part of us. Hopefully she lives for many years to come! Hugs

Bonny said...

I hope she does well for as long as her body is able. It is hard to lose a pet, I know. So glad that she has been starong in her battle. Love to you.

Jaymee said...

keeping you and asha in my thoughts. i cannot even think about losing my furbabies without choking up.

HUGS

meinsideout said...

I think I told you this before, but I lost my cat Sophie to CRF two and a half years ago. It was devastating and traumatic and horrible.

You are a good mom all the way around. I will be thinking of you and Asha.

Jess said...

Given this has been going on for 16 months, I'm assuming they've tested for everything? My Desi got really sick in Sept '07 (when she was just shy of 2yrs old) and when we took her in, her Creat and BUN levels were off the charts. Vet thought she had CRF or had injested something that led to renal failure. But since she responded so well to rehydration, the vet decided to test her for Addison's disease...it's very, VERY rare in cats. Sure enough, that's what she has!

After getting her through the acute phase, we've now been maintaing her health with prednisone every other day and once monthly IM injections of a corticosteroid (which I do at home).

It's now been almost 2 years and she's been doing fantastic! Maybe something you want to run past your vet if it hasn't been addressed before? My vet thought for sure she was in renal failure and thought it was a lost cause/stab in the dark to test for Addison's since it's so uncommon in cats. Well wouldn't ya know it...I have the oddball cat!!

Sarah Jean said...

Praying for Asha, she's a sweetheart@

Jacinta said...

Little Kitty! Hang in there!

Beth said...

I just started following your blog. I also have a cat, Simba, who is a CRF cat. We had to stop doing sub q treatments on her at home b/c she was constantly hiding from us. For now she is doing ok and hanging in there. My heart goes out to you about Asha.

Meg. said...

I meant to comment on your sweet Asha earlier....


I'm so so sorry that you're faced with possibly losing your sweet baby sooner than you're prepared for. =( I can tell just by looking at her pictures that she's a supportive, beautiful little soul.

If it does come time for her to pass on to the next life, my sweet fur-son, Tom Tom, will be her personal tour guide and buddy. Both of our kitties really knew how to comfort us when we were in need.

I'm hoping that Asha continues to defy the odds!

Kelly said...

Hugs to you and Asha! The worry must be something awful hon.

Allison said...

Oh I wish we never had to lose our wonderful pets. I have a puppy and a cat and it just makes me tear up thinking about losing either of them. It's the worse thing about having pets honestly. I hope little Asha gets better and stays around for a long time. They truly are our little children. :)