Thinking about what might have been ...

Today Myles would have been 7 months old. I try to imagine what he would be doing and how he would look today, but I struggle to conjure an image of his smiling face. This makes me sad. I wonder if he would have still looked exactly like Josh or if he would've assumed some of my characteristics? I wonder if his eyes would be big and blue like mine? I'd like to think they would be similar to my eyes as he did have very big, sparkling eyes. I try to picture his cute little plumped up feet and wonder if his funny little toes would still overlap? I imagine that his personality would be similar to my husband's--very laid back--as opposed to my Type A personality. It makes me sad to wonder how different my life would be if Myles was still with us, but I guess that's all I'll have for the rest of my life--memories and wondering about the what-ifs?

I miss Myles more and more each day and wish that I could've had just a few more hours with him. But, realistically I know that no amount of time (well nothing short of a lifetime) would have been enough.

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I need to say thank you to all of you wonderful gals for your kind, caring, and understanding comments. Many of your comments brought tears to my eyes. It's nice to have a supportive community of women who "get it" and other who are truly empathetic. It is my belief that those of us who've struggled have an understanding and empathy that far exceeds anything imaginable by those who've been lucky enough to sail through life on the "happy, ignorant" boat. Of course I wish we all could ride that boat with them, but reality is we can't. So, we ride in strange, foreign boats alone, but we sail these boats with others by our side. We sail through the darkness in a unified fleet together trying to help each other navigate the rough seas in inadequate, broken watercrafts. I'm saddened that others are navigating through this journey with me, but strangely comforted knowing I have others by my side. ((HUGS)) to each and every one of you! Again I thank you!