Saturday, April 11, 2009

K's Decision ...

Last night I received an email from K asking if I was home and we had just walked in the door from seeing a movie. She told me to check my email and my stomach turned. I have the tendency to immediately assume the worst. I opened my email and saw that I had two emails from K. One was sent a couple hours earlier and the other had just been sent. I opened the first email to find K asking me questions about our estimated timeline. She said she figured I had one knowing how I am, but surprisingly and maybe even shockingly I didn't/don't. I was trying to excercise patience and not make any specific plans until I heard back from K as to whether or not she'd be continuing this journey with us.

The next email said K and her husband had spent the evening discussing her desire to continue the journey with us. K's husband, T, expressed his continued concern and worry for her, but in the end said that he would support her in any decision that she made. So, K then said "I really have no reservations about doing a repeat cycle...so if you still want me...as Jason Mraz says in one of my favorite songs...'I'm Yours'." Tears started rolling down my eyes and I could hardly read the email to J. We are both so excited to be able to continue this journey with K. We started this beautiful journey with K and her family and we want to end it on a wonderful note with them.

I feel very strongly that K is going to get pregnant again. With all 4 frozen transfers we did we had at least one of the totsicles implant, so we are hopeful that with a fresh transfer at least one (maybe even two) will implant. We are hopeful that a handful will be healthy and that next time K will be able to deliver us a baby. I feel as though K and her family need redemption and the way that they will get that is by seeing our journey through to a healthy, live baby.

On Monday I will call my clinic and I will tell them that we are ready to move forward. Dr. S wants to do another SHG on K following the D&C, so that will likely be the next step. I think we'll be doing an ER & ET in early June as I know Dr. S will be in the country and available per our meeting, but I have to call the IVF scheduler to get the ball rolling. Ideally I'd be starting stims at the end of May. I'm so happy that we now have something definitive to look forward to! For the past month I've been sitting and spinning in my negative emotions while we were waiting and now I feel like I can look to the future with hope!

K as I told you last night J and I are so lucky to have you and your family in our lives! We love you and can't thank you enough for what you are willing to do for us!

25 comments:

Lost in Space said...

Such amazing news, Niki!! I am so happy for you all as you continue down this road together.

You are 2 extremely amazing women who care for each other so deeply. Truly a blessing.

Jess said...

K is truly an angel...what a wonderful person to have in your life! I'm so glad she will be continuing the journey with you! I have a feeling that she will be handing you a beautiful son or daughter in no time...hopefully within a years time!

Kay said...

tears are running down my face!!! I am so happy for you!!

Bonny said...

K is truly a wonderful person.

Kris said...

I have tears in my eyes for all of you. I love Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" song. What a thoughtful way to tell you.

I had the surrogacy conversation with my sis this morning. It went well, and it gave us both things to think about. I'll tell you more later:)

Rebecca said...

Oh Niki! That's amazing!!! I could not be happier and more hopeful for all of you! I know this has been a rough road for all of you, to say the least, and I am so glad that K will be continuing the journey with you. I know how much you wanted her to be able to. You are all in my thoughts and prayers daily, and I cannot wait to see how this next cycle plays out!!!

K, you are an amazing woman. Niki is so blessed and lucky to have such a wonderful, selfless, giving woman in her life. I know this has not been an easy road for you and your family, and I can only hope that this next cycle is a positive experience for you, your family, Niki and Josh. ((((HUGS)))) to you!

You are both amazing. I have never seen such a model of love and family. Love each other through it all. You are all in my prayers.

Erica said...

What absolutely wonderful news Niki! I'm so happy for you and the new "plan." Why is it that most IFs seem to be such type A planners? ;)

I'm so glad that you have K in your life. She seems like such a beautiful person.

Thanks for your most recent comment on my blog too. I feel so blessed knowing that I'm supported by so many strong women.

R said...

I am so happy for you all. Seems like things are coming together for you. Will keep you in my prayers.

MyLifeMyWorld-SharingADream said...

I'm so happy for all of you!!! It's nice to know that you guys care so much about each other no matter what the outcome might have been.

Will be great to watch your journey unfold and see a baby in your arms.

So exciting....what a happy Easter it is!

Heather and Jase said...

Amazing, just amazing!

Sheri-ct said...

Yay!!!! I am so happy that K has decided to cycle with you again. She is amazing! I will keep all of you in my prayers!

Sheri

meinsideout said...

Great news! I am so happy - was hoping that K would continue on your journey!!!

Donna said...

WONDERFUL NEWS!!!! K is truely amazing! I'm so happy for you!

thentherewere3 said...

OH! What amazing news, I am so happy for you guys!

Her said...

What a wonderful family you have. I even feel a tad envious, because I don't have anyone like K in my life. Here's hoping for a wonderful end result.

Allison said...

I'm so happy for you and will be praying for you

Alicia said...

Awesome news! I'm so happy for all of you! You are both strong women! Yay for moving forward!

Dora said...

That's wonderful!!! Sorry I've been a terrible commenter. Laptop was in the shop most of the past week.

K, you ROCK!!!!

xoxoxo to you both!!

carley said...

Amazing news!

Deanna said...

K is for kindness.

you have found yourself the nicest of K's....

happy for everyone...

Kelly said...

Niki-

That is so awesome!! I hope this next cycle brings much renewed hope for your family.

Duck said...

Niki and K,
I'm so happy for all of you. IT must have been hard for K and her family to endure a miscarraige and the aftermaths, and it's a true sign of her personality that she wants to continue (and everyone would understand if she didn't want to).
So happy for you. I'm so excited for you guys, looks like perhaps we all may cycle again (Tabi is geering up too, and we all have an appointment this friday to plan it out - a fresh cycle as well).

Take care and happy chocolate bunny day.

~Denise~ said...

Wishing you guys the best

Polly Gamwich said...

I cried when I read this post ... thank you K for giving of yourself.

travelaunt7 said...

Such wonderful news. K, you are an amazing woman. Thank you for being you! Can't wait to read about the tentative schedule.
Linda