Thursday, January 21, 2010

Happy 2nd Birthday Myles!




The five star ice lanterns signify the five members of our family. Myles' star is the clear one in the middle flanked by a star for Liam and Silas. The outermost ice lanterns represent Josh and me.


J's brother showed up to take some photos and sing happy birthday with us. He was kind enough to take this photo of us at Myles' grave.

I can't put into words how I'm feeling today. I feel grateful for having given birth to such an amazing little boy, yet I'm sad that Myles isn't here to help us welcome his little brothers in a few weeks. I must admit that this year I'm in a better position to celebrate Myles' life. I've cried less this year than I did last year, but that's not really saying much. I feel like each year I heal a little more, yet I'm certain I'll never stop grieving for my "Smyles". I miss him dearly and spent much of my day wondering what he'd be like today. I like to think Myles would be funny and a bit mischievious like his daddy and that he'd have a heart-melting smile with big, blue eyes like mine.

27 comments:

Poppy said...

Beautiful...

tootertotz said...

A beautiful tribute to a precious life cut short. What a wonderful blessing that you all are capable of seeing goodness from such hardship.

Happy Birthday Myles!

AnGèLe said...

Omg.. Im crying! I am so sorry for your loss but so inspired by your celebration of Myles birthday! Happy Birthday little one! xo

Amber said...

Happy Birthday, Myles.

I'm so sorry you have to wonder about the person he would've become instead of watch him grow into that person. I know how loved he is today and every day and his little brothers will be lucky to know his story.

Cali said...

I think Myles is probably preparing his little brothers for their upcoming arrival.
I'm sure the lanterns made him smile today. Beautiful idea.

Idgie said...

I believe Myles was full of all kinds of smiles watching you and Josh celebrate his life today. I lit a candle for him and said some prayers for all of you.

Happy 2nd Birthday Myles, you are very loved and deeply missed.

Heather said...

Happy birthday, beautiful, beautiful boy. You've touched soooo many hearts. You and J are in my thoughts today, Niki.

Ashley D said...

Happy Birthday Myles!

N said...

Happy birthday, Myles.

Expectant Duck said...

Happy Birthday little Myles.

Was a lovely photo. Take care.

Lost in Space said...

Happy Birthday, sweet boy. You are so missed.

Many hugs to you and J, sweetie...

Jacinta said...

Happy Birthday Beautiful Myles! I love your photos and your ice lanterns so much, I think they are amazing.

Jaymee said...

happy birthday myles!

what a beautiful celebration of his life.

meinsideout said...

Happy Birthday Myles. Niki - the candles and the meaning behind them are amazing. You brought tears to my eyes - you are an amazing mom - to Myles - and you are already an amazing mom to your two little ones that will be here soon.

((HUGS))

Katie said...

Thinking of your sweet Myles.

Kay said...

The ice lanterns were beautiful!
You are such an amazing mom!

goldenjag25 said...

This is such an amazing tribute to a very strong little guy. Thinking of you guys.....

Kris said...

Happy Birthday, Mr Myles! Thinking of you all.

Maureen said...

Happy Birthday Myles!

Meg. said...

Happy Happy Birthday, sweet Smyles!

Your gathering at his grave site really touched me. The lanterns were a perfect idea. You made Myles proud. =)

Aunt Becky said...

Happy, Happy Birthday Myles.

NotGivingUpYet said...

Niki,
Your post really touched me. We just passed the 2nd anniversary of our son's passing. You put into words exactly what I've been feeling. I'm discovering that the grieving process for a child is a long one. Maybe because there were so many milestones missed? We now have beautiful twin boys (also thru surrogacy) who fill our hearts with so much joy. But, there is always that missing piece.

(((hugs)) to all of you. Happy Birthday, Myles!

Lori

Gabby said...

So beautiful!! I'm glad you are in a better place.. you wil never stop remembering.. I am glad the pain gets a little easier each year. Happy Birthday, sweet angel!

~Denise~ said...

Lovely

MyLifeMyWorld & Growing Families said...

What a wonderful tribute to your baby boy. Happy Birthday Myles.

Donna said...

Happy Birthday Miles!!!

Busted said...

So beautiful. Apologies for replying so late, I am just catching up on blogs. Best to your family, so happy that Myles' belated birthday gift was 2 brothers!