Remembering Myles

Today and every day for the rest of my life I will remember. I remember Myles' sweet little face and big, sparkling eyes. I remember admiring his tiny twisted toes and round little nose. I remember Myles turning to the sound of my voice. I remember how warm he felt against my chest and how soft his skin felt against my fingers. I remember watching my husband hold his son for the first time and feeling so proud. I remember hearing J say "Myles is full of smiles" and thinking about how he was probably smiling on the inside. I remember begging the universe to spare Myles and wishing I could take his place. I remember loving so intensely and losing so much. I remember feeling like I was living in a bad dream and I remember waiting to wake up. I remember the unconditional love and the immense pain of losing my long-awaited child. I will always remember my son, Myles, and the joy he brought to my life.