A mixed bag of stuff

I need to apologize for not posting very often. Yes, I'm busy, but I do have a little bit of time to post in the evenings when the boys are in bed. The truth is that I just don't know what to say most of the time. I'm unsure of where to take this blog. I started it as a way to cope with my grief over Myles' death, continued it to chronicle my infertility journey, and now have been sharing my two bundles of joy. I'm fine with keeping the blog as is and using it as I have been doing despite feeling a bit uneasy reveling in my mommyhood when so many of my blogreaders (likely former blogreaders) are still struggling with infertility. I did after all start this blog as a mother (albeit a babyloss mamma) and didn't start out blogging about infertility. I do think that I should modify my blog title somewhat, especially if I'm going to blog about motherhood and our family. I'd love suggestions if anyone has any ... what do you think I should do with this blog and what could I do to modify the title to better reflect my current blog material?

We are loving our new house and feel so at home here. I was worried that this new place wouldn't feel like our home, but this is the home where we will raise our boys and it feels perfect! The extra space is definitely a huge asset with two babies and all their gear. I'm absolutely in love with my kitchen--the large island and huge walk-in pantry are wonderful! I also love having a huge walk-in closet to house all of my clothes. In our previous house I had to utilize portable closets in my basement to store off-season clothing and then change it out each season (huge pain!). The big front porch on this house is our favorite place to sit at night after we put the boys to bed. My parents bought us two wooden rocking chairs, so we can rock, relax, and listen to the birds sing. Another feature that I suprisingly enjoy quite a bit is the 2nd floor laundry, which was our contracter's suggestion--this means I don't have to haul clothes baskets up and down steps. With two babies I do a ton of laundry, so that's saving me a lot of wasted energy. We still have to put our yard in and do the landscaping, but we're waiting until the fall to put in the grass and we plan to do the landscaping next spring.

Kitchen/dining room:

Living room:

Family room upstairs above the garage (this will become the boys' playroom):

Nursery:


Both Liam and Silas are doing great! We have their 4 month peds appointment next week. It's hard to believe that the boys are almost 4 months old already! Liam is doing great on his acid refluxs meds and is actually a very different baby. He is able to eat 4-6 oz of formula at a time and doesn't cry while he's eating it. Silas continues to do well on the meds too. Both boys go to bed without any problems by 7pm--we bathe them, feed them, and cuddle/rock them (we do this because we like it nt because the boys need it.) The boys wake around 1-2am to feed, immediately fall back to sleep, and don't wake again until around 5am. J does the night feeding and I get up with them at 5am. Most days the boys will play a little after the 5am feeding and then will go back to sleep for another 1-2 hours.

Liam is definitely the needier of the two babies and I'm thankful that Silas is so laid back and patient. I swear Liam cries out of jealousy when I'm holding Silas! Both boys are getting stronger during tummy time and have pretty good head control. They are very happy, smiley babies who grow more adorable by the day. Liam has suddenly become quite interested in holding things ... he regularly grabs and holds skinny rattles, his pacifier and Bright Starts Lots of Links. Liam puts everything and anything he gets ahold of (e.g., fingers, toys, Silas' hand, burp cloths) into his mouth. He also drools a ton, which is why I seriously think he might already be teething. Silas isn't as interested in putting things in his mouth and doesn't drool, so clearly he isn't teething. Silas will grab and hold toys if I put them right next to his hand, but he doesn't seem to be as interested as Liam. Silas appears to be close to rolling over and I wonder every day if I'm going to come into the nursery and find him on his stomach in the crib.

I received a Flip Video Camcorder(digital HD) for Mother's Day from my boys, so one of these days I'll upload a video of them doing something cute. It seems like I record them doing something every day because they seem so adorable not to. Until I figure out how to get a video on here I'll leave you with a few pictures of the boys.


Me and my boys on Mother's Day:

This is what our normal mornings look like (ignore my bedhead and pjs):

Hey all, it is me "K"

Hey gang, long time no talk! Niki and I were talking and decided I should give you guys an update! I AM DOING EXCELLENT! Baseball season has begun at our home and I LOVE IT! Nothing better then seeing my two boys having fun on the ball field! I had a great Mother's Day and got the most special gift from Niki, J, Liam and Silas, a wonderful photo book she made on shutterfly. It was 90 pages long, and was filled with stories, poems and photos about our journey, it was perfect! I cried, sobbed and bawled like a baby! I can't stop showing people, and am so thrilled I'll have this for my whole life to help me remember our journey (it already seems like those two sweet little boys were born so LONG ago)!

On Thursday, I got to hang with the boys all afternoon while Niki joined her mom for some time out and about! I LOVED IT! We snuggled, hugged, talked and played. They are two of the sweetest little souls I've ever met and I'm so grateful Niki and J are getting to enjoy them! Many people have, in a round about way, questioned if I "miss" them. Of course I miss them, but under no circumstance do I wish they lived with me or were "mine". I grew these two boys strong so Niki and J could enjoy them their whole lives long! I haven't once regretted my decision or wished it to turn out any differently...our journey has been perfect! When I look at Liam and Silas with their mom and dad I feel bliss! It all happened just as I imagined it and to be quite honest, I feel lucky to have been a part of something so amazing!

I hope this message finds you all content! Enjoy the summer weather and keep smiling!

Photos

K and the boys:


Liam smiling:


Silas smiling:

GERD, Sleeping & and a Nanny

Over the last 3 weeks we've had several horrible nights where Liam was up every hour fussing or he'd just be up from like midnight on. He refused to eat more than an ounce at a time, which was probably contributing to him waking so often, but he also just seemed generally uncomfortable and sometimes would even cry while he ate (poor little guy!). So, we suspected that Liam also had GERD and we started him on Zantac. After a week on Zan.tac things hadn't improved, so the pedi added Prev.acid. Literally within a day of being on Prev.acid we already saw an improvement--Liam ate more, didn't fuss while he was eating, and slept for longer periods of time.

Both boys usually still eat every 2-3 hours, so we aren't getting huge blocks of sleep at night. However, on occassion they sleep a little longer (i.e., 4 hours) between feedings. We usually try to have the boys in their cribs for the night between 7-8pm, which is when the boys seem to naturally want to go down, and this is when they have their best sleep.

Silas is very good at falling back to sleep after his night feedings and doesn't require too much rocking. Liam on the other hand needs a lot of rocking and cuddling before he'll fall back to sleep. Sometimes when I put him in the crib he immediately wakes up and I have to start all over. We read Weissbluth's sleep book and plan to start implementing his strategies. I hate the thought of letting the boys cry (and no I don't mean cry it out), but understand the need for them to learn self-soothing techniques.

I am on maternity leave through the end of the summer, but plan to go back to teaching in the fall. My mom is going to watch the boys two days each week and we are looking for child care for the other three days. Because of our need for part-time we decided to look at in-home day cares rather than facilities, which charge extra for part-time. Plus, I don't want to have to pay for the summers when I'm off. We visited two in-home day cares and didn't care for either of them. Both were way too dirty for my tastes (e.g., stains on carpet, smell of cat urine) and one of the gals actually said "I don't know how you manage twin infants"--hmm????!! What the hell?! She was hoping to care for our two, a 12wk old girl, and her two boys, ages 2 and 5. Needless to say both we immediately crossed her off our list.

After striking out twice with in-home day care providers we decided to take our friends' advice and post an ad at the local university of a part-time nanny. We already have 6 applicants after a day of having it posted and three of them sound like very good candidates. On a whim I messaged a former student of mine, S, to ask her if she knew of anyone who might be interested in the position. S messaged me back saying that she is transferring to the local U and would love the job. S is absolutely AMAZING and has tons of experience caring for babies/kids. She's babysat for a handful of my close friends, including K, and they all rave about her. Also, S nannied for a woman who lost her husband when she was expecting twins (horribly sad I know), so she even has experience with twin infants. J works with S's mom too, so we know her family. S came over today to meet the boys and Silas couldn't take his eyes off her--he smiled and cooed to her the whole time she was here. S is still registering for her classes and plans to try to work it so she can cover all three days. Needless to say I feel as though I won the lottery!!

(I tried to upload some photos of the boys and the boys and K, but it keeps saying there's a problem. Grr! I'll try tomorrow.)