Sunday, August 29, 2010

Return to Work

Tomorrow I will return to work after having been off with Liam & Silas for 7 months. I have been dreading this and have cried on and off all week anticipating the end of my maternity leave. Tonight while putting Silas to bed I rocked him and bawled because I I kept thinking about how I won't see my boys awake until 3:30pm tomorrow. It's not that I'm worried about the boys not being well cared for or that I dislike my job. I love teaching and feel confident that my boys will be in good hands. My mom will be with them here at our house two days a week and our wonderful nanny the other three days. I'm just sad that I won't be the one who's with them. I'm sad that I'm going to miss all the smiles, giggles, kisses, hugs, cuddling, and new milestones. This week is going to be tough, so wish me strength as I return to work.

13 comments:

Kelly said...

I cannot imagine Niki. I definitely feel for you!!! (((Niki)))

meinsideout said...

Good luck sweetie - I had panic attacks for three weeks prior - and I still cry at least twice a week. I wish I could say it gets easier - and it does in a way - but it still is painful at times.

I will say that our babies are much more socialized than our friend's baby whom we saw over the weekend - the difference was striking - so by being with different people, your babies are going to gain wonderful social skills and that will help them in the long run. So will a happy and productive mom who loves her job!!!

Jacinta said...

Oh Niki! Please post and let us know how you go. I am back on Wednesday and I feel pretty much the same as you did.
I keep reminding myself that I've done this before and it was so much worse, so it has to be better.
Fingers crossed.

Kim said...

Going back to work is very hard. You will have good days and bad. I only had 12 weeks at home with my baby girl before I came back to work. I can't imagine how much tougher it is going to be having been home for 7 months with those precious boys. I will will be thinking about you and hoping it is a great week back.

Lucy said...

I know it'll be a tough day. I hope you get lots of smiles and hugs when you get home.

Anonymous said...

I have twins too and went back to work at about 6 months. I eased back into it working 10 hrs a week for a bit which helped. It will be hard going back all at once, but maybe you will see some positives out of the experience. For me, the adult interaction and brain usage really revitalized me and made me feel like 'me' again. Of course you miss out on some daily dosages of hugs and kisses from the boys, but the extra money and energy working again gives you will make your weekends very special. You just have to get really organized to make the week days run really smoothly. Good luck, the first year of the babies lives working is the toughest, so it should get markedly easier in 2011 for you.
Lisa

Anonymous said...

I cried every morning for two weeks when I went back to work. It's a matter od finding your "new normal" much like we have to do wheb our children are born. It really helped me when things started settling back into a routine. Thinking of you this week!

Anonymous said...

Niki,

I'll be thinking about you. I was in your shoes a year ago. It was extremely difficult, but it does get easier. I still have my days though when I don't want to leave him. Good luck!
Linda

MyLifeMyWorld said...

Going back to work is difficult to say the least...especially in the first few weeks. One nice thing is that being a teacher, you'll have more vacation time than most...you'll just have to do the countdown to holidays and such.

It's hard, nothing I can say will make it easier, but you will all get through it, I promise.

Dora said...

Missing milestones is hard. Sunshine first crawled at my mother's while I was at work. Now I keep getting reports that she's pulling herself up to standing at daycare. I haven't seen it. :-( But she truly is a social girl being with so many different people.

You'll be okay. Bring emergency chocolate. (For medicinal purposes.)

Funsize said...

Oh the first day is so hard! I cried when I returned to work. But coming home, the first day and every day, is so wonderful! Hang in there momma!

xo

amy said...

Niki, I hope all is going well with you and your family now that you are back at work. Those boys sure are CUTE!!!

I wrote to you some time ago, as we followed your lead/blog and just had our baby via a gestational carrier. I've decided to open up my journal from this past year on my own blog. Check it out if you feel so inclined... My site is:
http://ourjourneytoyoualovestory.blogspot.com/

My first entry will be tomorrow, the 16th. Thanks for being so strong. I've learned a LOT from you! We both made it!!!

All the best,

Amy

Mrs.Spit said...

I am stupidly late to the party, sorry about that.

I hope things are going ok, it must have been a really tough adjustment!