Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Two Years Ago


Two years ago a giant hole was ripped through my heart. Two years ago my world came crashing down. Two years ago my life changed forever. Two years ago today I said good-bye to my first-born son, Myles. The pain may not be as sharp today as it once was, but it's still very much there. I may not cry as often or as much as I used to, but I still shed tears for my son. I miss Myles just as much today as the day two years ago when I held him in my arms and watched him fade away. I love you Mr. Myles and will remember you always!

22 comments:

meinsideout said...

((HUGS))

Meg said...

Thinking of you and Myles today. He will be a great big brother - he will teach those two little munchkins a lot from above.

N said...

jeanna said...

You give me hope, that the pain does ease up, even though the love is still there.

I delivered our twin boys at 19weeks when we found out they no longer had heartbeats. Now I look at your arms, so full with your new sons and hope one day my future children will fill part of the permanent hole in my heart. I know that they will never replace our first born children, but hope that those children will help us move forward in life.

Bluebird said...

Thinking of you honey. Remembering your handsome firstborn with you.

Bridget said...

I understand your grief and feel your strength in the face of it. I feel so blessed to be able to read and share each part of your story. I remember holding my son Alex as he gently slipped away, so painful for us as parents to let go. You honor Myles in the way you share him with everyone. Thank you again.

Seraphim said...

Holding you in my heart today. I can only imagine its ache. xxxx

Kelly said...

((((((Niki)))))) Miss you Myles!!

Jacinta said...

Thinking of you Myles. Niki, am sure this is such a happy and sad day for you. Take care

Ashley D said...

Thinking of our boys up there in Heaven looking down on us. Sweet thoughts of your Myles full of smiles. Lots of hugs to you today Niki
Love
Ashley

Donna said...

Two years feels like a lifetime ago.

Think of you and Myles today.

((HUGS))

Jaymee said...

HUGS

Lost in Space said...

Remembering with you, Niki. Many hugs.

Saffy said...

Oh sweetie, that's a pain that noone should ever have to know. Myles is your first born, the little guy who generated so much love, who got the family ball rolling. Now you have 2 more beautiful little boys, but as we all know, they're their own little guys and they'll never replace Myles - he was a gorgeous little superstar in his own right. Big big bear hugs >:D<

ourowncreation said...

Remembering with you. Be good to yourself today.

Aunt Becky said...

Holding you close. Sending kisses to sweet Myles.

TeriLynn said...

Thinking of you and Myles today!! Myles you are a wonderful big brother! Big Hugs!!

sara said...

You're in my thoughts today...

Kris said...

I am thinking of you all and I know that Myles is an awesome big bro to Liam and Silas:)

Jen said...

Hugs.

Baby Wanted said...

I'm a bit of a lurker but I do comment from time to time. I'm thinking of you all and Myles today. I know he is watching over his brothers and his parents with love in his eyes!

Your babies are pecious...I love looking at them! The story that was featured about you guys was great.

I was looking for your email address, but I didn't find it on here. I'm thinking about doing surrogacy, my mother offered to carry babies for us. She is 43 (old but not too old). If you could email me at baby.wanted@ymail.com I would really appreciate it. I want to pick your brain about what K had to endure (shots, meds, etc)...I have so many questions. You don't have to email me if you aren't up to it but if you could, I would greatly appreciate it. Your blog has inspired me so much!

Poppy said...

Big hugs to you and J.