Courage and Fear

This morning on my way to work I saw a sign on a church kiosk that read as follows ...

"Courage is being scared but doing it anyway."

Ever since reading this it's been playing over and over in my head. I feel like I live each day in fear. I fear that Myles will be our only child. I fear that a high proportion of the embryos we make are chromosomally abnormal. I fear that we "wasted" chromosomally normal embryos on my sub-optimal uterus. I fear that my eggs are bad. I fear that I won't get as many eggs in IVF #2. I fear that being 1.5 years older will negatively affect my egg quality. I fear that suddenly something will be wrong with J's swimmers. I fear that I won't have many embryos this time. I fear that our embryo quality won't be as good this time. I fear that I won't have embryos to freeze. I fear that if I don't do acupuncture like I did with IVF #1 that I won't have similar results in IVF #2. I fear that I won't have a surrogate to help make our dreams come true. I fear that if we get pregnant again we'll have another miscarriage. I fear that we will lose another baby if we are so fortunate to have one. I fear that we'll live our lives with completley broken hearts and aching, empty arms. I fear that I am fighting a losing battle. But, the thing I fear the most is not trying again and spending the rest of my life wondering what if ... So, I keep repeating to myself that "courage is being scared but doing it anyway."