Remembering Myles - 3 wks old

A year ago yesterday Myles turned 3 wks old. I took this photo of Myles on Valentine's Day last year. He was snoozing so peacefully. The little blue piece of fleece in the upper right hand corner of the photograph was a special piece of fabric--I wore it against my skin so it would smell like me. The nurses thought it would be comforting to Myles if he could smell my scent, so I would wear a different piece each day and we'd put the "fresh" one near Myles's head in the isollette. Myles slept on small pieces of soft blue fleece--mini "blankets" that one of the nurses and I made for him. I kept a few of them and sleep with one every night. It may sound silly, but it's comforting to me to have Myles's small "blanket" with me while I sleep. (Oh and in case you are wondering I do rotate the "blankets" and wash them regularly!) A close up of Myles sucking his thumb while he slept. You can see Myles's head lying on the little piece of fabric that I wore. I like to think that having my scent near him made him sleep better.

I love Myles just as much today as I did the day he was born. I miss him so much and think about him always. It really bothers me that so few people mention his name anymore. I think most are hesitant to speak of Myles in fear that I will have a breakdown at the mere mention of his name. Ironically it makes me more upset that I rarely hear his name spoken anymore. Just like any Mommy (and I am a Mommy) I am proud of my son. Just like any Mommy I love my son. Just like any Mommy I constantly think of my son. But unlike most Mommies I will never see my son again. I miss my son. I cry for my son. I long for my son. All I ask is that everyone remember and acknowledge I had a son and his name is Myles.