I am Myles's Mommy. He may not be here today, but he was here 15 months ago. I love my son today just as much as the day he was born. Myles may not seem real to many, but he was very real to me. Myles had 10 tiny toes and 10 tiny fingers. He had my big eyes and his Daddy's round nose. Myles was a preemie, but that doesn't make him any less our baby. Preemies are just tiny babies born too soon. I gave birth to Myles. I have the scar to show for it. I nourished Myles with my breast milk. I changed his diapers and comforted him when he was upset. I would've died to save my son, but despite my best efforts I just couldn't save him. I love Myles and my heart aches for him.
Today I may not get recognition as a mother and I may not be celebrated by my child, but I know I am Myles's Mommy and I know in my heart he loves me. Today I will remember the days I spent with Myles and I will remember how it felt to touch his soft skin and hold his tiny, warm body next to mine. Today I will quietly celebrate my motherhood in solitude.
