Sensationalism of Surrogacy

The NY Times posted yet another disheartening article about surrogacy, Building a Baby, With Few Ground Rules. I absolutely despise how the media treats infertility and surrogacy. Both are typically presented in such an extremly biased, one-sided, negative light and it's utterly maddening to me. Some of the stereotypes that the media likes to perpetuate include the following ... Infertiles are horrible people who should "just adopt" or aren't supposed to have children (natural selection). Surrogates are horrible women who "steal" other people's babies. Surrogates carry other people's babies for the money. Intended moms are depicted as women who don't want to lose their girlish figure by having a baby and/or are too career driven to take time to carry their own baby(ies). Intended parents are highly educated affluent members of society while surrogates are impoverished and uneducated. This is just a few of the horrible things that the media likes to use to grab reader's attention and make a few bucks. I find all of these stereotypes to be disgusting and extremely disappointing. I challenge members of the media to do a better job. I challenge them to present the positive aspects of both infertility and surrogacy.

I have been involved in a battle with infertility for 5 years and during this time I've met some of the kindest, most compassionate women I know. These women are waging their own war with infertility and are also going to great lengths to share their lives with a child. Along the way these women have likely encountered harsh criticism for their efforts not only from the media, but sometimes from family and friends too. Early in my war I dealt with this more often, but with every battle my skin thickened and I managed to better deal with the criticism. I decided that most of the critism I had encountered came from people's ignorance about the emotional, social, and financial struggles of infertility, which is why I became so vocal with my own struggle. I felt that if I could educate people using my experience they would be less likely to criticize others going through infertility and more likely to lend support and encouragement. I just wish that the media would follow suit.

I wish that the media would present some of the positive stories that exist in the world of infertility and surrogacy. I wish they would see some of the faces of the 10% of US women who have difficulty getting and/or staying pregnant. There are about 6 million of us out here, so it's likely that most people know someone who's been waging their own war against infertility (often alone in secrecy). I challenge newspapers, magazines, and news programs to focus on the women behind those statistics and show the goodness in them.

I also challenge the media to present one of the beautiful, surrogacy journies that exist. There are plenty of them to choose from. I would even volunteer to share ours and K's story. Our story is one of love, compassion, generosity, and gratitude. We have a wonderful relationship that grows stronger with each day. The two little boys who are going to enter this world in February because of K have an amazing life story to tell and will be the luckiest boys on the planet. Without K our boys wouldn't have a future story to tell and we wouldn't be able to experience parenthood with a living child. Surrogates offer up themselves to help loving people become parents who otherwise couldn't. Many form life-long bonds with their intended parents and get to watch the babies they brought into this world grow up. Surrogacy creates families and to me there isn't anything more beautiful than that. This should be what the media shares with the world about surrogacy!