Monday, August 9, 2010

Our personal contribution to stem cell research

**IMPORTANT NOTE: I know that there are people opposed to using embryonic stem cells and I respect your opinion/position on the issue. It is obvious from my post title that I am supportive of embryonic stem cell research. I hope that my position can be respected and that my blog doesn't become a battleground to debate the issue. We all have to do what feels right to us personally and really should try not to judge others when we haven't walked in their shoes. I appreciate your understanding and thank you in advance for not making my blog your personal debate forum.**

Today is a very bittersweet day for me. We signed the paperwork to donate our 3 frozen embryos to the Stem Cell Institute at the University of Minnesota. Both J and I thought it was important to hand-pick where our embryos were going. We both strongly support embryonic stem cell research and were pleased that we could give them to a local research institution. This particular facility is "evaluating new methods of isolating and culturing embryonic stem cells (ESC) from excess embryos obtained by IVF, so that large number of cells can be made available for patients in a reliable and reproducible manner. Additionally, all new ESC lines will be made available to researchers worldwide."

Although I feel a great sense of pride for doing my part to help advance stem cell research in an attempt to treat and/or cure diseases (e.g., Parkinson's, heart disease, diabetes), I do feel a little sad at the same time. I know our family is complete and that having more children isn't something that we ever plan to pursue, yet I feel attached to these embryos. Well technically I'm not attached to the blastocysts themselves per se, but rather to their potential for life. As I drove home from signing the papers and having them notarized I couldn't help but daydream about "who" was among them. My thoughts drifted to a little girl with curls and big blue eyes wearing an adorable pink floral dress and I became teary. The reality is that I'm a little sad I'll never have a daughter and I think I'll always wonder if there was a girl among those three embryos. I think there's even a piece of me that's still a little sad I'll never carry a baby and when I think of those embryos I wonder if one of them could've become a healthy, living baby by growing inside of me. I sometimes daydream about becoming unexpectedly pregnant on my own, which of course is highly unlikely and definitely not wise, yet I still think about it.

Clearly there's a multitude of issues coming together to create my mixed emotions today, but honestly the sadness is fleeting. I look at my precious boys and know that I am lucky. Actually I am very, very lucky! My life finally feels complete and I feel that I have finally defeated infertility. I know that there are so many women (and men) who would give so much to have what we have, so I hope I don't come off as sounding ungrateful. I am beyond grateful--more than you will ever know. Sometimes it just helps me to move past such emotions by putting a voice to them and it helps me to find peace with major decisions to discuss them (sometimes at great length much to my husband's dismay).

I am trying to look at our donation in the most positive light. We may not be giving these three embryos an opportunity of life, but we very well may be giving an opportunity of life (or a comfortable life) to hundreds if not thousands of people who are stricken with horrible diseases. I truly believe that this is our gift. We are giving back and paying it forward by donating our embryos to stem cell research. We are giving in a way that has huge potential to improve human life and for that I can feel good.

14 comments:

Tina said...

Good for you!

Tom and Margit said...

I can imagine how hard that was for you and J. I commend you on your decision and doing something that is of importance to you!
Hugs!!!

Kris said...

This post brings me tears of sadness and joy. I couldn't have said it better myself :)

sprogblogger said...

We intend to do the same with our "leftover" embryos, and I anticipate feeling much the same mix of satisfaction and anguish. Thank you for putting this out there, and for describing it so eloquently - it's important for people to understand ALL the hard decisions that come up during this process. Well done.

Anonymous said...

you brought tears to my eyes I would have done the same ((HUGS))

lisa meinsideout

Heather said...

I admire you & J!!!!! You've been through so much & I think it's wonderful what you are doing for so many others. Even though you may never know this, so many will be grateful for you not be selfish!

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful gift. Thank-you for posting this and giving insight to a very personal decision that you made.
stacey

Kelly said...

It's definitely a personal decision so I will not comment other than to say I'm glad you made the right choice for you. :)

Saffy said...

On behalf of all of those who will benefit from the research that is made possible through kind decisions such as you have made, thank you.

Intending To Be Parents said...

I think it's amazing what you have done! I feel the pain you feel with your decision as we are struggling with the same one. I actually just sent you an E-mail to an E-mail address I had for you 2 years ago so I am hoping you will get it - I would really appreciate more information on the process if you find the time to write back. Thank you! What a wonderful gift you have just given to so many!

Dora said...

Very important research. Wonderful!

Lucie Jones said...

Hi there

I have followed your blog for a long time and always found you and your family to be an inspiration to me, with this decision too. I think you have done a brave, kind and beautiful thing and all your gorgeous boys will be very proud of you

xxxxxx

Anonymous said...

I think you made a wonderful choice.

We made a different choice -- deciding after much discussion to give our embryos to another couple.

But I think that either option is a way of giving something back and helping others.

Anonymous said...

As a mother of a diabetic...Thank you.